Symphony No 1
by kawaiisuzu
Summary: Then she finds a new route. Somehow, there’s a second ending to the piece, and she doesn’t know if the notes written afterwards are bitter or sweet. They may even be bittersweet. But isn’t it better? Isn't it better than going back to the beginning? NC


**Disclaimer: Kawaiisuzu does not own Nodame Cantabile. Gyabo! Mukya! Etc, etc.**

**This fic **_**was **_**originally planned for the series Nodame Cantabile (stunning to watch, by the way), but I was wavering between Ouran and Nodame Cantabile for this one. Actually, the real reason it might have been Ouran is that I totally needed to dedicate a piece to **_**sciathanfile**_**, since she writes such lovely work. **

**But in the end, I'd already written a short, somewhat unsatisfying Ouran oneshot, so Nodame and Chiaki couldn't wait. **

**Vague, but definite spoilers… YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED. After all, this is a sort of Episode 10/11 (which I haven't seen all of) in the drama or the anime ep 23 of Nodame Cantabile anime (before later seasons) spruced up and written with classical music directions. **

**See if you can discern everything. Also, a bit of a future fic in the later parts. **

**Vague, and up to one's own interpretation. **

**There is a glossary at the end for the italicized musical term or random gibberish that pops up with no meaning defined in English in the text. **

* * *

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Symphony No. 1

_Nodame Cantabile_

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* * *

_Presto, presto_

It can't be anything other than this to start off their new relationship. It can't be _legato;_ it can't be smooth sailing for them.

She struggles to catch up, and as she looks up, panting, to see his footsteps fading, she starts running.

'Senpai… let me follow you. I won't be the same without you. You won't be the same without me. I know it.'

All around is the wind, blowing into her ears, blowing past her ears. It may be the lopsided way she's trying to go about it all—she has never before questioned the way in which she can't seem to run in a straight line. Always, always… zigzags, curves, an uneven tempo. Now, it can only slow her down.

He walks so damn straight; ever since he finally accepted airplanes, it was like he didn't even need them anymore to soar past Japan, past the sky, past all obstacles. To soar past _her_. His walk doesn't even seem to touch the ground.

That's how much he's changed.

Why walk when you can fly?

'Senpai, don't change without me.'

_Why don't you strive higher?_

She stops.

Stumbles.

Those _words_.

Nodame remembers them so well.

_Why?_

Why must I?

She doesn't know the real answer, but when one doesn't know, can't comprehend, it's because the answer doesn't lie within the brain.

The answer can only be found within the heart.

She continues running. He seems so far away.

That's why no one can blame her.

No one can blame her for not expecting it when he suddenly turned around and asked her to walk beside him, to soar with him.

Europe is a faraway place.

_Why?_

Why not?

She can't. She _can't_ accept that he would have to be the one to pick her up after she fell, when she was the one at fault.

* * *

_Più mosso agitato_

* * *

It comes out terribly wrong when it is her turn for another _solo_.

Not good enough. One of them was not good enough to catch up by herself.

* * *

_Con fuoco_

* * *

That moment after isn't the _grandioso_ she has been waiting for. It is a _poco ritardando_, horribly at of place, which grows and grows on her until she feels the life being sucked all out.

Somehow, another movement starts, and it's '_a tempo'_ again. She's back where it started, where Sensei, no, not Sensei—never Sensei—that adult man had hit her to the hardwood floor. She couldn't see the crimson drops on her head, but that was only because she saw red in her world.

Learn to live with yourself.

* * *

_Detaché..._

_Detaché_

* * *

And then she finds a new route. Somehow, there's a second ending to the piece, and she doesn't know if the notes written afterwards are bitter or sweet. They may even be bittersweet. But isn't it better?

Isn't it better than taking the easy, first ending way out… and repeating life as it was from the beginning?

After all, Chiaki wouldn't be there anymore. Everything was fresher the first time around.

When she decides, it isn't the floating sensation. There are still exams, and Harisen, to deal with. In fact, she can't even speak French.

* * *

C'est la vie…

Fate seemed to knock her out before she could really decide.

She sucks in her breath at the impact. A stalker?

_**Senpai**_

Why wasn't he in Europe?

Why does she nearly drop her cell phone when his _embrace_ was so _tight_?

Is the transition even there as _tempo animato_ sets in, then a heartbreakingly sweet _dolce_—so smooth it feels that one of them might drown. Underwater…it's like space. There's no air to breathe. There's no room to push the other aside.

It's too much.

_Molto, molto espress_.

The _crescendos_ are deafening, but so is the underlying silence. The softness there can only be attributed to the _grazioso_ way in which the two tested the waters.

"Happy New Year"

* * *

Somehow, she knows that anywhere they go, she would always be the one struggling to catch up. He is a genius, and though she might be unique, fresh, and talented, his genes and his work ethic leave no comparison.

'I'm not flying yet…'

One couldn't blame her, could they? Maybe, in terms of acknowledging the piano forte, she's only a newly hatched nestling, who's been contemplating in her shell for years before hearing _him_ and wanting that song for her own.

Is it right to ask a nestling to fly?

There isn't really a choice.

She grits her teeth, sucks in her breath, and shoots for the stars.

Somehow, though she knows that they run on lines residing on two different dimensions, on different career paths, with their own dreams, she hopes that they were parallel lines, instead of skew. She wants them to run alongside each other-

Always together.

Yet never together?

Parallel…

No… she shakes her head.

If Nodame misses the stars on her first, second, third try, she knows somewhere deep, so deep she doesn't know if she can trust it (_for people often foolishly don't trust the deepest, most important and reliable part of their hearts_) that Chiaki Shinichi-kun would _step off_ his parallel line, step off his clear, fast-lane path and step on to hers to catch her as she fell.

There.

Intersection of the parallel lines.

She was never good at geometry anyways.

Nodame smiles and grinds on in Europe.

* * *

_Building Climax_

* * *

Before they know it, it's _finale_.

Fast paced, obliterating, a thundering conclusion in which through the multitude of chords even Chiaki couldn't tell if it was in a _key major_ or _key minor_, happy or sad.

But Nodame can tell, and she smiles and reaches out to him.

_Together or apart_

_Friends or Lovers_

_Marriage?_

An intersection of two lines or something so different it can only be called _life_.

And they slow down before they realize that there, so small it was barely seen, yet so commanding that it was impossible to ignore—

_D.C. al Coda _

Stop and go back to the beginning until coda.

No, not _finale_.

Never _finale_.

* * *

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**Suzu: I hope that wasn't too much of an effort to read on your part. I'm not a music major (not even out of high school for that matter), so if some definitions and uses are not correct, feel free to comment. Also, for those of us challenged in musical terminology, please refer to the mini-glossary that's actually quite lengthy. **

**Dozou. **

**Oh, and please READ and REVIEW. **

**This was very enjoyable. I'm thinking about writing more for this fandom, but this was like testing the water when there could be jellyfish underneath the surface. XD**

**Glossary** that seems longer than the actual story (oh angst!):

_**Presto**__; quickly, at a rapid tempo_

_**Legato**__; smooth, continuous, flowing_

_**Più mosso agitato**__; more agitated; restless or hurried in movement or style_

_**Con fuoco**__; with fire, with focus_

_**Grandioso**__; grand_

_**poco ritardando**__; a little more slowly_

_**a tempo**__; a musical section in which the tempo goes back to the original pace the player took at the beginning of the piece_

_**Detaché**__; the same, detached notes_

_**Ce la vie**__; roughly French for "That's life"_

_**Tempo animato**__; animated, lively tempo_

_**Dolce;**__ sweet_

_**Molto, molto espress**_ _very, very expressive_

_**Crescendo**__; get louder_

_**Grazioso**__; graceful, flowing_

_**Building Climax**__; many symphonies and such have a portion dedicated to building the tension, perhaps with variations, before climax_

_**Finale;**__ the ending, or the ending movement_

_**Key major**_** or **_**key minor**__; key major is usually associated with a happy sound, and key minor sad. One can often discern if a piece was written in the major key (happy, joyous) or its relative minor (melancholy or mysterious) by looking at the ending chord and determining if it's major or minor. _

_**D.C. al Coda**__; This direction sometimes shows up at the end of a piece, in which, happening upon what one thinks is the last note, one has to replay much of the song from the beginning until the coda sign scrawled somewhere in the piece, whereupon then the player goes to the coda, a special little ending section of the piece. _

So technically, the direction should have been, 'Stop and go back to the beginning until coda', but I thought the 'until coda' part interrupted the flow.


End file.
